Thursday, August 27, 2015

:: coffee talk ::

discuss amongst ya-selves......
  
:: BACHELOR IN PARADISE ::
the amount of crabs at this place is terrifying
I would not sleep at night.  they are EVERYWHERE.
I've been meaning to say this since week one and just had to share.

do you think the producers are trying to give us subliminal messages that all of the eligible bachelors and bachelorettes have crabs or will soon have it from sleeping around in mexico?
I'm thinking this is definitely what it is..... crabs for everyone!!!! 

jorge the bartender is STILL the best option there. 

someone really needs to knock some sense into julia.  she is such a sweetheart..... and there is just nothing going on upstairs.  

first joe, then mikey? whaaaaaaat? does she have daddy issues or something?  why do these people keep talking about marriage after a drunken tequila date in mexico? especially marriage to unemployed morons? you're better than them julia just go home!!!! 

sam and joe. my god. I discussed them in Tuesday's post so we will leave it at that but karma is a bitch and so are both of you. 
oh, actually, one more thought.  I have never understood when people talk about direct messages on instagram - where does this exist? what? 
OH and one more thought, Joe getting dumped on his birthday when he threw himself a birthday date was WONDERFUL. 
OH and ONE MORE final thought.
can we PUH-LEASE just start doing rose ceremonies at the end and have normal episodes instead of all of this dragged out BS????? 
MY GAWD. 

:: BELOW DECK ::
below deck is back! I love this show.  between the crew and the new charter guests every week you can't go wrong.
the commercials previewing the new season were KILLING me.
"He's Captain Lee" (background : captain lee captain lee.....) "He's the stud of the sea".... blah blah BLAH. 
ummmm producers.  captain lee is the least sexy human being you could possibly choose. he makes me want to vomit in my mouth.  I'm pretty sure all women are more attracted to a lamp post than him, and the new insane diver/chef chick on the show confirmed it when she said at least she doesn't have to worry about any sexual tension with the captain.
he seriously makes my skin crawl for some reason. 

kate is such a bitch but for some reason I really love her.

when she compared everyone to their font last season it was a done deal.  
I'm sorry, but she was spot on and it was genius.
and I love a good bitchy resting face. 

:: RHOC ::
okay, my dislike for Jim Edmonds, husband of Meghan King Edmonds, has been 100% solidified. 

the housewives go to a Nascar race to kick of this weeks episode, and on 4 separate occasions they show the group introducing themselves to racecar people.
(I feel like the producers must have thought exactly what I am thinking otherwise they suck at editing, because why else would they show us introductions 90 times?)
Everyone says their first name, like Hi I'm Megan I'm Heather I'm Terry.
Jimmmmmy, every time says, 
"Jim......Edmonds."
like, he wasn't saying Jim Edmonds (one complete word-sentence JimEdmonds).  that, I would still be annoyed with, but we could maybe act like whatever he's just saying his whole name. 
BUT NO.
every time it was "Jim.......(pause long enough).... Edmonds."
GOOD GOD GET OVER YOURSELF NO ONE CARES AND IM SURE THE NASCAR PEOPLE HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE.  
you may think I'm reading too much into this or over exaggerating, but TRUST.  I am not.  

Meghan King Edmonds didn't want my dislike to only be awarded to her husband, so she had to give us something.  so on to Meghan King Edmonds...... 
Okay, you are 30, not 15.  How do you not know who Heather Lochlear is? Come on. #judging.

and I'm not saying you need to know what band Tommy Lee was in, because who cares, but how can you act like you have no idea who he is?  It was the sex tape scandal hear round the world lady?!?
Ugh Meghan King Edmonds you give 30 year olds a bad rap.
Thank Gawd I'm still barely in my twenties. 

I can't even discuss Shannon's birthday dinner at the rock and roll bar.
Painful.  Every week.  I just can't.
however, yes, David is a freaking moron for that being what he planned for you birthday.  but LOCK IT UP in front of your kids. 

Heathers Home Construction House Tour.  
apparently there are  several things I can't even discuss this week.

Heathers facial expressions, or complete lack-thereof and just giant open eyes no facial movement whatsoever, during the fight between Vicki and Meghan King Edmonds is my greatest plastic surgery fear ever. 

:: MY FAB 40TH ::
I'm watching as I type up this post and I'm just like..... ohhhhh my. 
like most trash tv, it's so bad that it's somehow good. 
perhaps the most shocking part of the episode. 
the one birthday girl saying she can't imagine what her friend, the other birthday girl, has gone through since her daughter was born with a serious heart condition.
but the way she says it is 
"like Soleil being born with an un-googleable heart defect."
she was being sincere, but it was hilarious that it seemed like she was crying over something being un-googleable. 
and I cant even look at this party planner. 

:: RHONY Reunion Part II :: 
Ramona says car-thotic again. Twice. 

Someone tell this woman its cathartic.


but other then that, I don't even care about the reunion, I cannot believe (but can) that Kristin's awful husband was on Ashley Madison.
He is such scum.  SCUMMMMM. 


:: Joey Fatone and One Direction ::
everything about joey fatone's letter was hilarious.

apparently there is like huge controversy over it or something and people aren't finding the humor in it? but I love it!

as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.  
#hypocrite  #sorryimnotsorry
I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn't do that day and likely won't do the next day either.  or the day after that. 


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Wednesday, August 26, 2015

:: wishlist wednesday ::

lusts for the week....... 
  
the perfect fall button down.  perfect.  love, love, love. 
uhb-sessed. 

I love this top and think it looks like a million bucks. 
 I feel like you could wear it for so many occasions.  
the same new-to-me label C/Meo makes :: this black skirt :: that would be great for dressier occasions, too. 
and it has pockets!!! great modern take on a basic. 

for under $50, this ring set is such a steal. you can wear all four, just one, whatever you like.  
I love delicate gold jewelry; add some pearls and I'm sold! 


bb dakota kills it again in the inexpensive dress department.

navy and white striped sweater? always a yes for me. 
add a fun back and I'm really sold. 
another great under $100 sweater for fall, this heather grey sweater

my new favorite tory burch purse for fall 

also love J.Crew's new crossbody bag that can be monogrammed (!!!!) for under $150! 

comfy cozy striped tunic
similar to this shirt, I saw this old navy stiped tunic on southern curls & pearls and think it's so cute! 
it comes in 3 colors and is a steal for only $16 ! 

I love this buffalo check vest that always sells out every fall 

great wear-now and wear-later floral dress
..... and I'll just stop there because all of J.Crew's fall arrivals are insane. 
 and I haven't been as nuts about their collections lately, but I'm back on board and lusting hard.  

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Tuesday, August 25, 2015

:: tuesday thoughts ::

random thoughts for tuesday.......
:: one :: nail salon television ::

sooooo the TV programs at the two nail salons I go to have been driving me insane.  I don't get my nails done nearly as often as I should, and I've decided that perhaps this is why. 
THE WORST shows you could possibly play are always on.  It'll be, like, a random channel like ion that plays nothing but murder-rape-dramas with awful acting or scary movies.  huh? and not like, a law and order which I guess I could handle, but still wouldn't want to see getting my nails done; rather it's a very detailed scary stalker/murder things. 
what?
the other place I go to occasionally has NETFLIX ! NETFLIX ! I got so excited! 
except oh wait..... no.  they clearly don't understand what people watch on netflix because somehow they find awful movies I've never heard of or films with subtitles. 
YOU'RE KILLING ME PEOPLE.  you are sitting on a goldmine with netlfix - play Friends all day everyday and every woman in that place would love it.  your customer base would triple I guarantee it.  
theres a nail place here in chicago that only plays sex and the city.... I'm not saying thats the only way to go ..... but apparently they figured something out that no one else did: play something, ANYTHING, that women like to watch. 
at least do some HGTV or something like the place my mom and sister go to back home in Atlanta.  House Hunters marathon during a nail appointment is phenomenal. 


:: two :: bachelor in paradise 'textgate' :: 
to summarize 42 paragraphs worth of thoughts about this weeks episode(s)
samantha seriously is so gorgeous I can't stand it.

but samantha is seriously such a moron and such a betch who thinks she isn't coming off as a betch that its hilarious.  
samantha and joe are equally horrible. but joes resting bitchy face, horribly mean comments, vengeful spiteful attitude, and complete and utter lack of any intelligence are FAR more entertaining to watch than samantha's pretty face, so I guess I'm team joe somehow?   

:: three :: fedora search is complete ::
my sad and pathetic never ending search for a fedora is finally complete.
just scroll to the next point .... or the next post because this is how pointless todays thoughts are. 
every single one was way too big.  I think my head is normal sized (??) but really I think they just keep making the brim on these hats way too big (nordstrom, jcrew, madewell were all misses).  They looked horrible. 
Target to the rescue! The fedora below is the perfect size and tiny and cute! 
and best of all it is the least delicate of any one I tried (the j.crew one was so delicate I would have ruined it in an hour) and it holds its shape perfectly so packing it should be easy. 
:: target fedora ::

:: four :: style and herpes :: 
I saw this quote on instagram....... 

and I immediately thought of the NYC Housewives reunion outfits (that you all agreed were HORRIFYING)
and all I thought was "so true.  and I think some of these ladies are lacking the style but having the Herp."

:: five :: exciting TV on Bravo tonight ::
Below Deck is back with the best resting bitch face character there ever has been, Kate.
sadly, the crazy drunk I love is not back this season. 

ANNNNNND its the season premiere of My Fab 40th.
so set  those DVR's ladies!! 


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Monday, August 24, 2015

:: weekend recap ::

hope you all had a great weekend :)
I saw that quote on instagram and had to laugh because that is always the first thing I do when I go to new arrivals on websites like shopbop and the such :) sad but true. 
   
friday I went to the cubs game with girlfriends, and the rest of the weekend was a bit more laid back which was nice.
the theme for the Bleachers  was 90's day (if you've never been to Wrigley, always sit in the bleachers - it is so much more fun - like a big party!)
they gave out hot pink and hot yellow hats to everyone and played 90s music throughout the whole game.

 this picture cracked me up;  miami girls getting after their ballpark dogs. 

needless to say we had even more fun than we already would have day drinking in Wrigley on a perfect 80 degree summer day :) 

Saturday I blew my life savings at Target.  what else is new. 
 it really was for trip necessities.... 

(okay fine. somehow two new pairs of underwear that I saw on the end of an aisle when I was grabbing some granola ended up in my cart because they were cheap and cute.... but otherwise it was all totally normal purchases). 
everytime I have to buy new razorblades I feel like I am giving away my soul.

the next time my husband asks what I spent so much money on at the store I'm going to say its hairy legs and armpits or a credit card bill - his choice. 

I had dinner at two of my favorite places in Chicago for girls dinners - Summer House and Big Star.  It was my first time to Big Star all summer and I forgot how amazing their patio is. 

I've been watching Unbreakable Kimmy Shmidt on Netflix and it's such a fun, easy show.  Mindless entertainment but still very entertaining and funny. 

........ annnnnd that's all I've got. 



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